Ramblings of a cuddle monger.

bearhuggr

I’m very boisterous and open - unless I feel intimidated and or/interested in someone. Unfortunately this happens a lot. 

BP/IML Word Vomit

• Sometimes I wish that my primal/sexual side could override my emotions. Even though this doesn’t come organically to me, this would make some things so much easier.
• No expectations are the best expectations.
• If I - by some miracle - like two dudes, they will eventually either fuck or end up dating within a short time span.
• 60% of dudes look so much better in their Scruff profile photo.
• 80% come off much better on paper.
• When you tell an average, boring white gay male “people don’t respect my beauty”, they’re not going to understand what you mean and just assume that you’re stuck up.
• I feel like such an outcast for being such an emotional person. If my gold lamé shorts rip and I cry, I’m not a freak for crying - you’re a freak for not acknowledging how amazing the shorts were.
• I have a habit of not letting my feelings/intentions be known and then getting upset when someone doesn’t magically know what it is I want. Communication. Ugh. I hate it.
• I say I’d never want to be that dude in the corner of the bar making out with three dudes not because I’m judging him - but because I simply don’t have the guts to do it. Slut goals.
• Through a random occurrence, I got to meet seriouslyflippant. What an amazing sister. I went home and cried after our convo, bb. Thanks for that.
• Social awkwardness. I haz it.
• Comfortably femme guys. <3
• Your roommate will definitely let you know how much attention he’s getting, even though he’s well aware how much you’re not getting.
• Cuddle drought.
• Being the only guy that’s not raving about how amazing this weekend was definitely makes me feel like I’m doing this whole thing wrong.
• Being sexually frustrated makes everything worse. Masturbating 6 times in a day may or may not solve this.
• I’m over-analytical- thus, I’m making this list.

I broke out my old journal to document my feelings on this weekend in order to help process/track my progress/regression on self image, social awkwardness, and other follies. 

This will be interesting.